starseeker09

wwhhyy hello confusing, dazed world. i believe im done getting my hopes up, or hope itself. i give up on everything i have ever wanted. somehooww i jusst cant give up on us

i just wonder if you ever think of me? i have always wondered that, even when we were togeter. three years with youu and i will not believe your over me just like that. you need to listen to me when i saay ... i think your my first love, i finally have a chance to be happy, with a boy, a sweet boy, a smart boy, a caring boy, a loving boy. a boy you used to be. what if you never lived far away? would we be togeter today... all i can think is what if cause your my past, some how i have to place you where. keep you there. idk how but i have to tryy

 why is life so hard for me? iwish everything was black and white, simple not contrast, blended. i want to fast forward though everyday of long classes, everyday of texting you, everyday of coming home to a warzone not knowing what to execpt. i want i mean i need to fast forward somehow to the end of my sorrow, the end of a dead city. i either be back to a city that i didnt fit in, i had my best friend.

im done with wishing thats all i ever do, im stuck.

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my mother was a herion addict though out my whole childhood and still is. i never had a realtionship with my mother